Take a Look

Instead of a long post about the changes I plan to make and the traditional resolutions, I wanted to introduce you to a new way of thinking. My friend suggested this website to me and this post in particular, spoke volumes. It's not about changing the sympotoms of your problems, but actually attacking the root issues and changing the way you view things. That's the only true way to bring about change in our lives...not counting down to 1 in hopes of a miracle.

Sounds kinda Debby Downerish I know lol, but I mean it with sincerity and kindness. I hope you take these tips and begin a true CHANGE in your life. Not just a momentary look into what could be.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-one-new-years-resolution-that-creates-lasting-change/#

Happy New Years Eve,
Alexandria Collins

Minding My Own

Too much time is spent dwelling on the business of others. Why do we give so much energy to things that are NOT important? Things, people, ideas that will not benefit you or anyone else for that matter in the long run. It confuses me when I see individuals that could be achieving so much, achieving so little. The sad thing is we often don’t see it that way. If someone is doing an amazing job in their major, has 3 internship offers and volunteers every weekend, they get no praise. But the loudest person who stirs up the most drama gets all the attention! I’m tired of it.

In 2011, I will be accomplishing A LOT. It will be a great deal of work. I’ll be doing work to build my future. I’m so blessed to understand that every moment in the present affects every moment in my future. So while others are sitting around gossiping or making a big deal of the pettiness in life, I’ll be climbing. Success waits for no man. So until you let go of what others think, what may be popular at the moment, and the unnecessary things, you will not go anywhere.

All I want is the best for everyone. I wish harm on no man. But the way people act I swear, they don’t care about themselves! It confuses me so much. But oh well. I have too much on my plate to be worried about someone else’s. Unless it’s positivity, don’t bring it my way. I am going to stop engaging, commenting on or even acknowledging foolishness. I hope you do the same. It can only help.

Negativity begets negativity,

Alexandria Collins

Ready for Love?

We all want love. It’s a primal instinct. I believe the reason we seek love is because in many ways it equals happiness. So often we get bogged down with the pressures and problems in life and want “love” to bring that calm.

What I am realizing though, is that love—true love, does not come if we are not open to it. Puppy love, lust, and everything else will come easily and quite often to those that search. But something everlasting and complete will only come to those that are READY.

My girlfriends and I often talk about the kind of man we want, the ways guys have dogged us out in the past and the mistakes we’ve made in our past relationships. The same answer comes at the end: men are bad, they make us feel bad, but we still want one in our life. What I’m realizing is that the reason a lot of women have problems finding the right man is that we aren’t fully ready for that. We think we are, but through REAL evaluation, we’ll see that it’s not fully true.

Now, what do I mean by being ready? Ready meaning you know who YOU are before you allow someone else into your life. You know your desires, goals and plans to achieve them. Ready meaning you have a relationship with God and knowledge of the strength he’s given you. Ready meaning you have let go of the past and the “issues” your past has you bound with. Ready meaning you actually have something to bring to the table—something intangible and not physical. These things will make a relationship last. Something true and deep.

I’ve realized that all the time I was asking God “Why don’t I have a good man?”, I should really be asking myself “Am I a good woman?” I don’t want just any old guy on the block. I want someone on the same journey in life as I am and who can add to my growth. I want someone who understands my morals and values and sees my “different” path in life as a positive. That type of love takes time and maturity to achieve. But am I ready for that? Getting close.

So ladies, next time you get mad at the guy that hurts your heart, ask yourself “Am I ready for the blessing of a man God has for me?” If the answer is yes, better yourself first and he will surely find his way into your heart.

Alexandria Collins

PS: GUYS, just flip it a little and it all applies to your journey towards love too :)

I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY (Part 2)

(Letter to myself/certain individuals)

WHO and WHAT are you living for? Do you know your purpose? Have you figured out your worth?

I’m tired of letting other people’s opinions influence my actions. It’s too much when you rely on someone else to decide something for you. IT’S TIME TO BE STRONG. Everything happens for a reason, even if you don’t see it right now. God has given me strength like never before. When I think I’m feeling weak, he motivates me and lets me know that I can push forward.

The crowd does not determine your individual success. OTHERS do not make you the person you are supposed to be. Fear of exile should not prevent you from being yourself. It’s just been too long. I stand and see people try to push us down, make us feel unworthy, or like it’s too little too late. Well guess what? THAT’S EVERYONE ELSE’S PROBLEM BUT YOURS. Your integrity and determination depend on what YOU believe and NEED. Not what you WANT. That’s something I’m learning.

Everything you want is not what’s best for you and everything you need is what you are given. Sometimes God makes things happen for you to realize that. That realization is what makes you persevere. I will be great, I AM GREAT. Not because someone else has told me that, but because GOD has given me that and I know in my heart that I will achieve great things. It’s unfortunate that others can’t see that sometimes and they end up losing out.

I will continue to succeed with or without you. I’m just disappointed in you.

Alexandria.

Do Better.

Because you can.

I realized that I am not living up to my potential. I could be getting straight A’s, excelling in J-school, achieving all my goals…but I’m just not doing my best. To others, it may seem like we have it all together, but we know, that there is a ways to go.

I spoke with one of my professors today and she told me that I disappointed her…actually she told me that I disgusted her. Not because I’m doing horribly in the class, but because I could be doing THAT MUCH BETTER. When someone sees potential in you and YOU waste it, that’s like slapping yourself over and over again. It’s not hurting anyone but you.

I realized in that moment that from now on I have to be the best. Not to compete with anyone else, not to get recognition from others, but because I owe it to MYSELF to do what I know I am capable of. I am capable of being superwoman. It’s actually not that hard. Instead of waiting till 30 minutes before something is due online to do it, how about taking a couple hours to thoroughly complete the assignment. When you’re given a task, go above and beyond to make sure it’s as detailed and creative as possible. You owe it to yourself to be great.

Also, we have to stop comparing ourselves to the standards of others. If everyone is not paying attention in class, that’s no excuse for you to not be that one kid asking questions and paying attention. The little things along the way are what truly pay off in the end.

I’m tired of being a Buzzard; it’s time to be an Eagle.

Alexandria

Change CAN Be Made

Sometimes it seems like we can't make any positive change in our community. It may seem too hard or as if our change won't really dent the surface. But i've learned that you have to start somewhere. I recently founded an organization focusing on enlightening, empowering and unifying our community. There's so much we can do if we simply have faith in our strength.

I'll admit, it's hard to focus on your vision when there's so much going on around you. But that focus and drive is what makes a statement. If I can provoke thought in one person then my job is accomplished. I just want to be a vessel for others. A way for them to channel their power and also give them a way to see that power. God has blessed me so much recently. It hasn't even been anything monetary or visual. Just with this creativity, perseverance and faith that I have I am truly blessed. It would be horrible for me to not share that with others and that's why I'm on the journey I am now.

Change is possible. It's actual not THAT hard. If you shuffle through the mess and keep your vision you can accomplish anything. Sometimes, you may feel alone as well, but that's a part of the battle you have to fight. If your vision is good enough that you feel it needs to be implemented then it is. Simple as that.

Create change in yourself by creating change in others,
Alexandria Collins

Feeling Under appreciated?

I am. I feel like whatever I do, isn't quite enough sometimes. People just take you for granted when you always have your arms open and you're willing to help. Maybe I shouldn't care as much as I do. Maybe I shouldn't want change and greatness for those around me. Maybe I shouldn't try to do what I do for others out of purity and kindness.

But I can't help it. You may knock me down, but believe I'll get right back up and even stronger. Time heals all wounds and anything is possible. Its just sad when you're around all these people but still feel alone.

Alexandria

Don't even have a topic...

So, I have like 10 minutes of free time before I need to rush off and do something else. That's why I haven't been blogging lately. There are just so many thoughts and so much going on that i don't have time to stop and think about what I can write about. After November 13th, I'll be a little better though.

But for this post, lets talk about you. Answer these questions (either in the comment section or on your own paper) and evaluate at the end. I'm gonna ask you these questions HOPING it will help you set priorities, give it a shot.

1. What do you plan on doing after you graduate?
2. What steps are you taking now to get there (internships, networking, etc.)
3. How often do you talk to God?
4. Do you feel like you're wasting time often, or being productive?
5. What do YOU offer someone else?
6. Do you carry out your promises?
7. What do you believe your purpose in life is?
8. If you died today, what would your legacy be?

Write about it. Don't just answer these questions in your mind. Write it out. If you are dissapointed with your answers, its time for my favorite thing: SELF-EVALUATION. It's about that time folks. We can't go through the motions anymore. Life will pass you by. Don't let a great opprotunity to influence someone else's life and enhance your own drift away.

The time is now,
Alexandria Collins

Ushering In A New Generation

It's in this time more than ever, that I see how much of a role model I am. I never really thought I was before, but as I watch the freshmen get SO EXCITED to see me and other upperclassmen, I realize how much of an influence we have over them. Even at this age, we are super moldable. We tend to want to fit in and we find someone who we'd like to emulate and go after that.

That's why we need to tighten up. People are always watching. Especially those coming behind us. They see our minor successes and want to do exactly the same thing. Being in the Senate at my University, I see the Freshman Senators and how impreshionable they are. Just as I was. Soaking up every little thing, slightly wild-eyed and exploring a new world. It's hard to navigate that new world without a little guidance.

I want to be that guide for someone else. Even though I don't have it all together, for some reason I can't stop myself from giving advice and talking to people and hearing their stories. I just want to be an open mind and ear for others and help in the ways I can. It's not easy being a role model, but it's worth it when someone walks up to you and says, "Thank you for helping me become the person I am today." That would be the MOST rewarding phrase to hear.

Take someone under your wing and show them the way,
A. Collins

3 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back

Yeah, I know the saying is 1 step forward, 3 steps back, but it's really the opposite right now. It seems like in some aspects of life, I'm moving full speed ahead, but in other ways I'm stagnant. It's the worst feeling. It's almost like being in quicksand, seeing the hand that could pull you out, but you like the sensation of sinking so much that you don't reach for that hand.

Okay, that was a bad metaphor.

My point is, sometimes my focus is off. I have SO MUCH going on in my mind at any given moment and great ideas of what I want to do, but the other things I'm involved in can cloud the way of my true purpose in college and in life. It's hard to make the decision to let some things go, but it's necessary. My professor, Dr. White broke it down for me. She said that it's hard for an over-achiever to not be involved. Our gut instinct is to say yes to every opprotunity to be involved and help. But that leaves what time for myself? Absolutely zero.

We have to start evaluating what's going to help us in this journey called life in the long run. Not just the momentary excitement or what satisfies someone else's desires.

Decisions to make and actions to take,
Alexandria Collins

Perspective Determines Prosperity

Lately I’ve seen how attitude can determine success in day to day actions and over your lifetime. There’s been a lot of negativity around and it could get to a person after a while. The only thing keeping me from feeling overwhelmed is my personal decision to not let certain things affect me. What people think, say or do does not have to determine how you feel or act.

When you control you, then your success is not determined by outside factors. This increases your productivity and creates an atmosphere of peace. I’ve been speaking to a lot of my friends about balance, inner peace, love, prosperity etc. and everyone seems to have a problem with tying it all together. I think the main issue is that we don’t look at life right.

Not saying there is one specific way we should view the world, but if we see things from a higher point of view and look into the future instead of focusing on the pettiness of now, our latitude will match our longitude.

EX: You feel tired one night but you know you have a really important test to study for. Everything in your body is telling you to lie down but your mind is still trying to focus. What do you do?
You could look at the temporary benefits of sleep or you could look past your fleshly needs and realize that the greater purpose for you being in the moment you are in is to get an education. The choice that is taken from a good perspective? Study. What is done most often (by me as well lol)? Sleep.

It’s all about mind over matter, attitude, perspective and action. Tie it all together and set it in motion.

Alexandria

Enlightened Consciousness

I’ve been searching for the perfect identity for the place that I am in my life right now…or the stage that I am on slowly stepping on, rather. After a lot of research and answers giving me more questions, I decided to search within myself for the title.

Enlighten (v.) - to give intellectual or spiritual light to; instruct; impart knowledge to.

Consciousness (n.) - the state of being conscious; awareness of one's own existence, sensations, thoughts, surroundings, etc.

This journey has been tumultuous to say the least. I’ve distanced myself from some people and have brought others closer to my heart. I’ve realized my self-worth and wondered what else I could possibly learn. The kicker is; I’m not done. I’m exiting a stage in life where it’s all about “self-consciousness” and entering a stage of Enlightenment. This gives me the opportunity to see things outside of myself and take a holistic approach to the world we abide in.

If you’ve been following my entries and I hope you’ve begun your own journey, then you should be close to this state as well. It’s not easy and takes a lot of sacrifice. All this thinking, progression, fighting against my flesh, focusing on things that aren’t the most fun is tolling. It’s especially difficult if you are not surrounded by supportive individuals. My family and friends have seen my change and I’m happy to say that I’ve affected them as well. I see my friends speaking on deeper topics than boys and the next party. My family and I have a more loving relationship. The slight adjustments I’ve made to my character are influencing those around me and hopefully it travels even farther.

I wish the best for you and your evolution into your Christ-like life. I still have a ways to go, and my heart is still being pulled in many directions. I am just thankful that God gave me this desire to grow and discover more about this world that was created specifically for our exploration and continuation. We have to take heed to the calling to become larger than ourselves, clear the ego from view and give. Simply give.


Alexandria Collins

Tangent...

These past couple of weeks have been beyond crazy. Life has "begun" again as my sophomore year kicked off. Always blessed but at times stressed, I've been pushing through a new beginning. This year has been really interesting as I've tried to seperate myself from some of the activities that my peers engage in. The great thing about it is that none of it is intentional. It's become a true change in my spirit and desires.

Some have said that I've gone "ghost" lately. Not true! It's just that staying off the scene is so much fun. I had enough of the "being seen" stuff last year. With every revelation, my priorities change and my focus becomes clearer. I hope the same for you. I'm shooting for a 4.0 this semester, so I've realized that a lot of things have to be cut out and I'm enjoying that process.
---
A friend of mine told me that they can't stand being alone. Their thoughts consume them and it's frightening. How can your thoughts be frightening? When you don't know how to control or cope with the relaity of your life. I revel in my thoughts and that alone time or time with just a single friend is the best.

I'm also seeing the value of true friendships and relationships. Often, we know people but we don't really know them. Just their title or who they associate with. To really value someone and learn and grow from them, it's important to really get to know them and obtain a deeper connection. So, hopefully I get to really know people this year and vice-versa.

Love,
Alexandria Collins

Distractions...

Sometimes—most times—the right thing to do isn’t easy. In fact, it’s much harder to do something to better yourself that is outside the box of what your friends are doing, than to follow their lead.

This school year is going to be crucial for me and so many others across the world. I have a lot I want to accomplish and no time to waste. What needs to change is the mindset. We tend to think that we can juggle everything and still do it perfectly. That’s just not humanly possible. All balls can’t be in the air and none fall to the ground. Something will give. For me, it’s going to be my social life. That’s the aspect of college that should be on the bottom of the totem pole, but we often put it near the top.

One year older, one year wiser.

I had a lot of fun last year…but was it all worth it? My GPA wouldn’t say it was lol. This year I have to put certain things on the backburner to make my goals, reality. I’m not saying I won’t ever be out, but everything has a time and place. I don’t need to be at BDubbs every Tuesday, or the Mint every Thursday…these things will always be there. My aspirations to be someone on this Earth and make a true difference won’t though. If that door closes, it may be hard to find another.

Your actions now determine your future,
Alexandria

Simply Put: I Deserve More.

Do you ever feel like you’re settling for less? Like there’s so much more that you DESERVE but just aren’t getting? Well that’s how I feel right now. I’ve become so content and “happy” with a certain situation that I haven’t seen the signs pointing me in the opposite direction. Now it’s time to let go. I tried before…but I had no reason to at that moment. But now I know. It’s not about whether someone/some situation is physically holding you down, but a mental attachment is just as painful and destructive. It can overwhelm your thoughts and actions. Like I’ve said before, if something is not edifying you at all times...and you KNOW THIS it’s time to let it go.

That’s the hardest part though. The act of releasing and truly stepping away. Who knows if I’ll succeed or not. All I know is that I deserve more than this. I’ve outgrown this stage in life and it’s time to make BOLD moves. Ugh…I’ll just let it happen naturally. It’s for the best.

Readers, this is sorta my diary so sorry this is off topic…somewhat.

DJ AC Lovely.

I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY Part 1.

(Steps on soapbox)

Stay stagnant! Stay depressed! Stay unfulfilled and longing for more!

But stay there by yourself.

There are so many opportunities in this world for self-growth and knowledge that if I lived 100 years, I could not soak it all in. It’s magical, wondrous and within grasp. The only problem is that we are content with what we have. Society dictates that having a middle class lifestyle and staying “happy” is the goal. IT’S NOT. If that’s what you’re aiming for I feel truly sorry for you. God did not put us on this earth to be mediocre. He did not give us a spirit, mind and body to be put to work, working for someone else. We have to have our own.

Our own goals, aspirations, divine reality. We all have a higher calling. 1) To serve God and bring glory to his name, 2) To create a life on this earth that is overflowing with wisdom, love, purpose and fulfillment. I would honestly rather be living on the edge, exploring this world and enjoying its wonders, than working in an office up to my neck in debt…and for what? So I can live in the suburbs “comfortable” and WITHOUT peace and an unshakeable joy?

Trust me, that life is not what you want, I live it now. I see how my mother is working everyday—at a job that she enjoys—but I could never see myself sacrificing my creativity and desire to be free for it. What do they tell us is “American”? Following the leader, co-operating with the government at all times, staying under the radar and feeding someone else’s ego until we die. WHAT KIND OF LIFE IS THAT?

YOU have the potential to change the world. YOU have the desire to be great. YOU have the creativity at your fingertips to create an entire world. But only YOU can make it happen. Don’t settle. Don’t succumb. Don’t feel pressured. Just because we are getting a college education doesn’t mean we have to leave and become AVERAGE. We are mighty and it is through God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit that we have the POWER to make our dreams reality…

Listen to your heart and not someone else’s mind,
Alexandria.

(Steps down…for now)

Finding Balance

Sometimes, getting away is all you need. I haven’t been able to travel much this summer because of the stress of school, finances and other things, so I’ve been stuck with a lot of time to think. Not that thinking is bad; it’s really brought my desire to Live in Love to new heights. But sometimes, getting wrapped up in our own thoughts can be dangerous. I saw myself becoming more reclusive as the days went by. I was analyzing everything and losing myself AGAIN! Except this time, I was trying to be on this new level and align myself etc. I’m still focusing on that, but I think I was going about it the wrong way. I needed to get away from myself and my own thoughts, so this trip I just took to Panama City Beach was just the remedy.

My friends and I went and surrounded ourselves with the beach and the easy living in PCB. It’s beautiful by the ocean. Things are just slower and calmer. I felt so at peace. New revelations have been coming my way and I learned another while frolicking in the ocean. You can change your life and outlook and have fun at the same time. I think I was putting so much energy into shutting everything I thought was “bad” out of my life that I forgot how much joy certain people and things brought me. I’m finding the balance in life and my own path to self-love and the 2nd step—love of others. It’s time to move on and create new memories and a new inner joy. No one can take that light away. I was dimming it at one point…but I’m getting it back.


Alexandria.

Acceptance.

I feel like I’m almost at the end of the first step on my road to Living in Love. I’ve been taking a lot of time lately to find what is truly important to me and in life. There have been so many things preventing me from getting to this point, but I am relieved that I’ve finally arrived. It’s not been easy either. When I first decided to start this track of living in love, I was being pretty surface and didn’t think I’d see a real holistic change…honestly, I didn’t think I’d keep it up this long and it’s only been a couple of months. But the more and more I think about the concept, the truer it becomes to me and the more I see that I need to fulfill it.

And others around me have begun to show their true colors. When a person changes, it’s hard to accept. It’s difficult for the person, but it’s even more complicated for others to understand. That person is moving forward and what I’ve realized is that the others, who don’t seem to understand, aren’t. Instead of supporting me in this positive change, some have decided to turn against me. It hurt at first, but…it’s okay. My sister read this Bible verse to me (I don’t remember what it is, but it went something like this) “I am the tree, you are the branches. What is not bringing fruit; I will prune from you”…yada yada. The point is God will take away from you what he does not see benefiting you and we have to lean on him for understanding and acceptance of that. I truly am, and I’m seeing what I need and who I need in this life. People, things, and activities that aren’t fostering positive growth need to be pruned. These next few months should be interesting as I become stronger and the truth continues to be unveiled.

Believe in and love yourself always,
Alexandria

Hungry

Been starving myself for a while
Just barely getting by
Looking into the sunset hoping that maybe
One day I’ll find it again.
What I’ve been holding myself back from for so long
Yet I yearn for it every day.
My body clenches
Stomach growls
And I slowly fade into the black
What am I supposed to do?
There is so much else to feed me
Yet I am hungry
I want it
NEED it
Have to have it.
Looking in the mirror
It’s not the Alexandria I once knew
She used to be on cloud 9 at all times
Mind soaring
New ideas flowing
But amongst the shuffle and turmoil
I lost it
And been craving for it since…
My creativity.

PERFORM AND LIVE.


-Christina Alex

Knowledge of Self

It takes a lot for a person to truly understand themselves. It is even harder to understand oneself in relation to the rest of the world. But without this understanding it's impossible to fully function and achieve all that we can. I am coming to the realization that my thoughts and actions are more powerful than anyone can measure, and I am in control of them. I finally see that I can't see the extent of my capabilities and that brings so much joy. To know that we can do more than we even know...man, the possibilities are endless. My flight is about to take off. What I also see is that I am the co-pilot as God is there too. He has brought me so much peace recently and I find myself more drawn to Him and through Him I am finding my purpose and the strength to follow my heart.

I am pursuing my own path. For the longest, I've been following the footsteps that someone has already walked. I wasn't being original and didn't truly know who I was because I was too wrapped up in being what others wanted me to be. But it's not about fitting in because that only lasts for a moment and doesn't reap any life-long benefits. Think about it. The people that are carbon copies of each other can only go so far, because they are limited to what they see around them and only reflect that exact image. I strive to find myself. Alexandria Christina Shaw Collins and love her. No matter how many obstacles come my way, my mind, spirit and body are aligning and I am giving myself the license to be myself. With or without anyone else supporting that.

"Live with a purpose, even if you have to live alone. Only a fool surrounds themselves with people wandering through life."


Finally understanding the necessity of living in love,
Alexandria Collins

Crazy Stuff!

I woke up this morning (on time...CRAZY!) and the first song that popped in my head was "I Feel Good" by James Brown.

This has never happened before.

It made me feel so great inside, and I just had this feeling that today was going to be awesome. Even though something happened between this morning and me writing this entry that wasn't so good, I can still smile! I just feel like a weight is lifted off of me and I am free and capable of doing anything. It's crazy the boundaries we give ourselves and the self-hate we show with our everyday actions.

I'm just sitting pretty right now and every decision I'm making will benefit me. I know I'm rambling and not giving any detail...but I can't. Just know, that nothing should hold you back from being yourself or sacrificing your morals and values...and if it does and you acknowledge that...you need to let it go.

Like an eagle, I soar
Alexandria C.

The Rewards Of Living In Love

Life has taken a turn for the better! Everything just seems to be rosy...and I'm living in the moment. I'm truly finding that being myself and loving who I am exudes SOO much confidence. People see that confidence and they are attracted to it. I can't tell you how focused I am on my goals in life and also having fun and living it up!

So often, we focus on the factors outside of ourselves instead of working on self-love and improvement. We have to stop looking for validation from other people and begin to accept our strengths and weaknesses for what they are. When we begin to look inwards and resolve those problems, it will show on the outside and everyone will be able to tell.

This is a great feeling and I'm going to try and keep it this way. Everything is in my hands...even the hands I am dealt. It's all about your attitude and progression.

Continue to fight for self-love,
Alexandria

It's Tough Out There

It seems like everyone around me is going through tough times...including myself. This world is really not forgiving and there's always some new drama popping up. It's crazy because when I feel like I'm strong enough, there's some other criticism or task to fufill. There's never enough time in the day and the motivation to get everything done is lacking to be honest. Trying to do your best when it's really hard to just keep up is exhausting. Especially when there are barriers up all around you.

I'm just trying to keep in mind that the sun will rise tomorrow. No matter what I am going through today or the harships that we all face. THERE WILL BE TOMORROW. Try again. Smile again. Push forward again. Brush the negativity off again. Because even when it seems like all is failing...you're still alive. You have breath in your body and you're able to take that next step.

Goodness I really needed to write this...feel like I'm preaching to myself. It's just important to focus on yourself and remember your goals in life no matter what others say or what it may seem at the moment. I need sleep lol. And a bubble bath...matter of fact, I'm gonna do that right now...wait I can't. I have a final's exam study guide to work on. See! It's always something. Guess I'll rest when I finish this life.

Meanwhile...pressing forward!
-Alex Christina

Service

So, I guesss this summer is going to be about community service for me. I've been doing a lot at my un-paid internship...but it's all good! and I've been volunteering with different groups around Tallahassee and looking for more opprotunites to do so. I always go into volunteering slightly dreading it. I know that sounds bad, but I just never know what to expect! And it always seems like people want you to volunteer at the oddest times. But everytime I leave, I feel refreshed, empowered, and like I truly helped someone. That's my motivating factor. The feeling I know I'll get after and the change in the community or in someone's life that I was a part of making.

It may not seem like the most fun, but doing something for others shouldn't have to be. It should simply be about your duty to help the community which has helped you. You may not see it, but no good deed goes unnoticed.

In other news, life's been pretty interesting. Living in Love is TRULY a challenge! Everyday, I have to remind myself of the way in which I should act to improve my life and it's almost like I have that whole angel/devil thing going on. Where the angel is telling me to do the right thing, and accomplish my goals and keep moving forward and the little devil is making me procrastinate or get upset over little things, or over-analyze every situation. So...it's an ongoing battle. I'm just trying to focus on what's really important and that's my self-growth. I tend to focus on the factors impacting my life instead of the way in which I should react to them. Then things go crazy. Geez, I feel all over the place. Need to get centered again.

Alexandria

Lesson Learned.

I'll be the first to admit. I have a temper. It's not something to be proud of but it's normal. What's not normal or okay is an uncontrolled temper. Now, I'm no Hulk when I get upset, but it's something I have to work on...it's a steady process towards peace.

Today, I faced a situation that made my temper go all kinds of crazy. At first, I honestly thought I was in the right because I was provoked. But two wrongs truly DON'T make a right. If I was to continue with my anger then the situation would have continued for God knows how long. I spoke to my mother and her words were what changed my attitude. She said, "Who's gonna be the bigger person? When is this gonna end?" She was right. I needed to be that bigger person and just let go. And that's what I did. I went to work, listened to some music, saw some friends, ate some good food and had a really good day. The other individual was still egging it on, but I told them to play that game by themsleves.

That whole corny saying of 'You're not forgiving the person for them, you're forgiving them for yourself.' is really true lol. I felt so at peace when I just decided not to react. It took the violence and the anger out of my hands and the other person has no choice but to let it go because they know they won't get a reaction out of you. Try it next time your temper gets a little...out of hand.

Woo-sah...
Alexandria :)

Inspiration For The Day

"No matter how tired you become, EXCELLENCE must still happen."
-Jon Brown (my boss at my new internship)

He said this only once and it really struck a chord with me. It doesn't just apply to the workplace; it can transition into how you live your life. Often times, I become tired and feel like life is mundane and there's nothing I can do. Same thing over and over. But that very quote has given me a new perspective on how I can do my best and be my best every single day...

I define a "full day" by how much I accomplished. It could be as simple as cleaning up my room (which for me, takes about 2 days) or running errands all across town. Within whatever task you are completing, doing your best (excellence) is of the utmost importance. Bill Gates wouldn't be the computer mogul he is if he didn't strive for excellence on a daily basis. Oprah wouldn't have a talk show, magazine, radio show, production company, AND TONS OF MOOLA if she didn't strive for excellence.

You don't get anywhere by being mediocre.

And even when there seems to be nothing to do, it looks like you can't make any moves towards your goals, or there are no doors being opened, you can STILL be excellent. Simply, by working on yourself. Finish your resume. Volunteer at a shelter (we all need hours). Go for a run and work on your health. Make a list of the things you need to do and actually accomplish them.

Excellence takes time, but it takes action to get there.

Never forget to love and appreciate yourself,
Alexandria C.

Okay, Let Me Explain...

I'm not sure I fully explained what "Living In Love" is in my last post. This is going to be kind of difficult seeing as how it has come to me as a feeling instead of a thought. But I'll give it a shot...

Living in Love is the desire to become better. Love is more than just something you say to a person that you care deeply about. Love is how you live, give and the legacy you leave behind. So, with this new thought process for the meaning of love, I've decided to follow that and become better in this order:

1)Love of myself
2)Love of others
3)Love of my surroundings

And that's it.

Shouldn't be super hard. But I know it will be. Because the first thing I have to do is get rid of my bad habits. Eating the wrong foods, too much partying, procrastination...things that we all deal with, but aren't things we should partake in all the time if we truly Love ourselves and want to live a long and prosperous life. So, I begin. I'M GONNA MAKE MISTAKES (just sayin lol) and so will you.

But I hope you begin this journey with me.

I Live in Love,
Alexandria Collins

Something New

About a week ago, I had this epiphany (sounds extra, I know). But that's what it felt like. I realized what I'd been doing wrong all these years and how I could change my life...or at least my outlook on it. That's when I decided to change. To start LIVING IN LOVE. Sounds simple, right? Wrong. Living in Love to me, is more than just smiling at people more often, or being over-friendly(which frankly, is creepy). It's a change of heart and mind. A new way of thinking that manifests into your actions. It's been an experience to try and change, and I've tried to do it alone and just make this a personal and positive thing. But...I want everyone to learn and grow the way I am right now, so I think it's best for me to share! As the saying goes, "Knowledge kept secret is not knowledge at all." Or something like that.

Anyways, I just feel sorta new right now. Like that feeling you get after hearing a really good sermon at church and it makes you wanna switch everything up and just be the best you can be! Hopefully with more entries and new discoveries, you'll be able to embrace that feeling too. Check back tomorrow, there MIGHT be something else on here...depending on my thoughts for the day :)

Start now and LIVE IN LOVE,
Alexandria