I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY Part 1.

(Steps on soapbox)

Stay stagnant! Stay depressed! Stay unfulfilled and longing for more!

But stay there by yourself.

There are so many opportunities in this world for self-growth and knowledge that if I lived 100 years, I could not soak it all in. It’s magical, wondrous and within grasp. The only problem is that we are content with what we have. Society dictates that having a middle class lifestyle and staying “happy” is the goal. IT’S NOT. If that’s what you’re aiming for I feel truly sorry for you. God did not put us on this earth to be mediocre. He did not give us a spirit, mind and body to be put to work, working for someone else. We have to have our own.

Our own goals, aspirations, divine reality. We all have a higher calling. 1) To serve God and bring glory to his name, 2) To create a life on this earth that is overflowing with wisdom, love, purpose and fulfillment. I would honestly rather be living on the edge, exploring this world and enjoying its wonders, than working in an office up to my neck in debt…and for what? So I can live in the suburbs “comfortable” and WITHOUT peace and an unshakeable joy?

Trust me, that life is not what you want, I live it now. I see how my mother is working everyday—at a job that she enjoys—but I could never see myself sacrificing my creativity and desire to be free for it. What do they tell us is “American”? Following the leader, co-operating with the government at all times, staying under the radar and feeding someone else’s ego until we die. WHAT KIND OF LIFE IS THAT?

YOU have the potential to change the world. YOU have the desire to be great. YOU have the creativity at your fingertips to create an entire world. But only YOU can make it happen. Don’t settle. Don’t succumb. Don’t feel pressured. Just because we are getting a college education doesn’t mean we have to leave and become AVERAGE. We are mighty and it is through God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit that we have the POWER to make our dreams reality…

Listen to your heart and not someone else’s mind,
Alexandria.

(Steps down…for now)

Finding Balance

Sometimes, getting away is all you need. I haven’t been able to travel much this summer because of the stress of school, finances and other things, so I’ve been stuck with a lot of time to think. Not that thinking is bad; it’s really brought my desire to Live in Love to new heights. But sometimes, getting wrapped up in our own thoughts can be dangerous. I saw myself becoming more reclusive as the days went by. I was analyzing everything and losing myself AGAIN! Except this time, I was trying to be on this new level and align myself etc. I’m still focusing on that, but I think I was going about it the wrong way. I needed to get away from myself and my own thoughts, so this trip I just took to Panama City Beach was just the remedy.

My friends and I went and surrounded ourselves with the beach and the easy living in PCB. It’s beautiful by the ocean. Things are just slower and calmer. I felt so at peace. New revelations have been coming my way and I learned another while frolicking in the ocean. You can change your life and outlook and have fun at the same time. I think I was putting so much energy into shutting everything I thought was “bad” out of my life that I forgot how much joy certain people and things brought me. I’m finding the balance in life and my own path to self-love and the 2nd step—love of others. It’s time to move on and create new memories and a new inner joy. No one can take that light away. I was dimming it at one point…but I’m getting it back.


Alexandria.

Acceptance.

I feel like I’m almost at the end of the first step on my road to Living in Love. I’ve been taking a lot of time lately to find what is truly important to me and in life. There have been so many things preventing me from getting to this point, but I am relieved that I’ve finally arrived. It’s not been easy either. When I first decided to start this track of living in love, I was being pretty surface and didn’t think I’d see a real holistic change…honestly, I didn’t think I’d keep it up this long and it’s only been a couple of months. But the more and more I think about the concept, the truer it becomes to me and the more I see that I need to fulfill it.

And others around me have begun to show their true colors. When a person changes, it’s hard to accept. It’s difficult for the person, but it’s even more complicated for others to understand. That person is moving forward and what I’ve realized is that the others, who don’t seem to understand, aren’t. Instead of supporting me in this positive change, some have decided to turn against me. It hurt at first, but…it’s okay. My sister read this Bible verse to me (I don’t remember what it is, but it went something like this) “I am the tree, you are the branches. What is not bringing fruit; I will prune from you”…yada yada. The point is God will take away from you what he does not see benefiting you and we have to lean on him for understanding and acceptance of that. I truly am, and I’m seeing what I need and who I need in this life. People, things, and activities that aren’t fostering positive growth need to be pruned. These next few months should be interesting as I become stronger and the truth continues to be unveiled.

Believe in and love yourself always,
Alexandria

Hungry

Been starving myself for a while
Just barely getting by
Looking into the sunset hoping that maybe
One day I’ll find it again.
What I’ve been holding myself back from for so long
Yet I yearn for it every day.
My body clenches
Stomach growls
And I slowly fade into the black
What am I supposed to do?
There is so much else to feed me
Yet I am hungry
I want it
NEED it
Have to have it.
Looking in the mirror
It’s not the Alexandria I once knew
She used to be on cloud 9 at all times
Mind soaring
New ideas flowing
But amongst the shuffle and turmoil
I lost it
And been craving for it since…
My creativity.

PERFORM AND LIVE.


-Christina Alex

Knowledge of Self

It takes a lot for a person to truly understand themselves. It is even harder to understand oneself in relation to the rest of the world. But without this understanding it's impossible to fully function and achieve all that we can. I am coming to the realization that my thoughts and actions are more powerful than anyone can measure, and I am in control of them. I finally see that I can't see the extent of my capabilities and that brings so much joy. To know that we can do more than we even know...man, the possibilities are endless. My flight is about to take off. What I also see is that I am the co-pilot as God is there too. He has brought me so much peace recently and I find myself more drawn to Him and through Him I am finding my purpose and the strength to follow my heart.

I am pursuing my own path. For the longest, I've been following the footsteps that someone has already walked. I wasn't being original and didn't truly know who I was because I was too wrapped up in being what others wanted me to be. But it's not about fitting in because that only lasts for a moment and doesn't reap any life-long benefits. Think about it. The people that are carbon copies of each other can only go so far, because they are limited to what they see around them and only reflect that exact image. I strive to find myself. Alexandria Christina Shaw Collins and love her. No matter how many obstacles come my way, my mind, spirit and body are aligning and I am giving myself the license to be myself. With or without anyone else supporting that.

"Live with a purpose, even if you have to live alone. Only a fool surrounds themselves with people wandering through life."


Finally understanding the necessity of living in love,
Alexandria Collins